Can time heal all hearts and all wounds?

*If I sent you a link to this blog, Holly and (and Justin) I need prayer, BADLY. If you have the time please read through this. If not just PRAY!

wow. So did I know something was up or did I know something was up? They ended their relationship. I was close to crying. I don't know why. I think mainly I feared that Holly got the wrong impression and is now turning this "unhappy ending" out on me. Or in my eyes, she is blaming me. Maybe the best thing is to stop writing this and just talk to her, but right now... I just can't. Not to point fingers (THEN DON'T!) but she didn't talk to me either about this. She is writing a facebook "note" hoping I see it and figure it out. But I can't pretend not to see it, because I know she will figure that I will know they ended it (no doubt in my mind that she was betting I was going to sing praises). I don't know if she knows about this blogspot of mine. See, facebook notes, when you are done writing them... tells the world that you wrote something and sometimes that is a good thing but sometimes it STINKS like a baby's diaper! Especially in this situation when I just need to let it out with my friends and get any kind of prayer, advice that I can recieve without bringing in the source of this fiasco.
I am just going to copy her note here for people who aren't her friends on facebook to see. She obviously wrote this with the intention of others seeing it. I am not trying to take away her privacy. So basically. What you read, I don't want her to know you read (if she doesn't know you and you aren't her friend on facebook). I just need prayer and I want my close friends to help me understand what is going on. I want to do the right thing, but I am unsure of what that is in this situation. (SIDENOTE: The entry from yesterday- the one before this one- was the night she wrote the note). UGh I don't want people to get the wrong idea here, with me posting this. I HATE DRAMA.
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*I did the bolding to get your attention... she did notI'm not so sure home is a place you can still get to by train.ShareYesterday at 3:46amI keep telling myself I am not alone. I KNOW I am not, no matter how much life tries to prove it otherwise. God is my strength and solace. As Jon Foreman puts it "Don't trust anyone at allNot your best friend or even your wife... Look, your enemies arrive,right in the room of your very household". I learn this lesson over and over again. We are all alone. And in that way, I think we can be united.How miserable i amI feel like a fruit-pickerWho arrived hereAfter the harvestThere's nothing here at allNothing at all hereThat could placate my hungerThe godly people are all goneThere's not one honest soul left aliveHere on the planetWe're all murderers and thievesSetting traps here for even our brothersAnd both of our hands are equally skilledAt doing evil, equally skilledAt bribing the judges, equally skilledAt perverting justiceBoth of our handsBoth of our handsThe day of justice comesAnd is even now swiftly arrivingDon't trust anyone at allNot your best friend or even your wifeFor the son hates the fatherThe daughter despises even her motherLook, your enemies arriveRight in the room of your very householdAnd both of their hands are equally skilledAt doing evil, equally skilledAt bribing the judges, equally skilledAt perverting justiceBoth of their handsBoth of their handsNo, don't gloat over meThough i fall, though i fallI will rise againThough i sit here in darknessThe lord, the lord aloneHe will be my lightI will be patient as the lordPunishes me for the wrongs i've doneAgainst himAfter that, he'll take my caseBringing me to light and the justiceFor all i have sufferedAnd both of his handsAre equally skilledAt ruining evil, equally skilledAt judging the judges, equally skilledAdministering justiceBoth of his handsBoth of his handsAre equally skilledAt showing me mercy, equally skilledAt loving the loveless, equally skilledAdministering justiceBoth of his handsThe hands of men are evil. We will constantly hurt each other. It's human nature. God is bigger than that though. He is bigger than indifference, bigger than arguments, confusion, lies, bickering, and even heartbreak. We are skilled at ruining our lives as well as each others. God is even more skilled at knitting it all back together. I became a warrior of the Lord at 13. I will fight until my death. I know it sounds over-dramatic, but I am in this constant war and I will struggle for what is right and good until I die for the cause or until my God calls me home. I may have fought in battles that never should have taken place. I shied away from others that I should have given my all in. Some may feel that I fight now for unworthy causes. And yes, I feel like giving up. I am sick of constant turmoil. I don't know which way to turn, which blow to block first, which wound to attend to. They all hurt. I want nothing more to give in, pack up my life, and disappear. Tonight, I rest in my Lord. Tomorrow, the rage of war continues. I will not give in, even when it seems as if I have no other choice but to lay down and die. "I will dance, even if I'm the only one"Even though I feel as if I stand alone, God is there....even if He's the only one.--------------------------------------
So did anyone think that was referring to me. And that it was my fault this all went down. I am getting that from this note. The first quote by John Foreman... yeah, as she typed this I was sitting in the same room as her, just us.
"He is bigger than indifference, bigger than arguments, confusion, lies, bickering, and even heartbreak. We are skilled at ruining our lives as well as each others. "
"As Jon Foreman puts it "Don't trust anyone at allNot your best friend or even your wife... Look, your enemies arrive,right in the room of your very household""

What to do, oh Robyn, what to do.

I shouldn't dwell on her words, maybe. She could have written them in anger, but she wrote them, they are still up, and not marked private. I think she wanted me to see it and really think about how I fit into this note.

We need prayer.

I hate that a guy has come between us, especially a guy that I can't stand (working on the forgiving part still, give me time). Do I walk away? Do I brush this off? Can time heal all wounds? Can't the right just automatically win (whether or not that is me, just so we know what is the 'right' so we don't argue over that anymore)? The only reason I am still in this? Oh I will tell you...
Holly. She has been my best friend since birth. I promised her I would stand by her through whatever, so I am not going anywhere. I would go through hell and back again with her. She is my sister. But I HAVE pulled away from our relationship. Someone best described it to me as this "A mother finds out that her kid has a drinking problem. She still loves her child with all of their heart, but they are not going to continuing feeding a problem when they are well aware of its dangers. She doesn't support the problem (doesn't buy alcohol for him/her) but she does support her child. Through whatever they may face with this problem she is there for them." AMEN to that! The main difference with the "alcohol problem" and the "Holly problem" I was in her shoes. Justin has hurt me so much. (I think, as this thing continues and he keeps hindering Holly and my relationship I tend to over exaggerate how much he hurt me BUT I was really affected by him and his choices with my relationship with him). So I am having one foot, more like one toe, still in this situation in her life. Because I trust Justin as much as I trust a torn parachute to keep me from falling to my death. The tiny amount I trust him is in the fact that he did cause smiles to cross my face. so I know he is capable of making someone happy. But I don't trust him with my heart NOR my best friend's. So GO FIND SOMEONE ELSE THAT IS NOT IN MY LIFE!!!. I could go on all night with this situation that I in NO WAY volunteered for. The fact that he is still in my life (even through a person) disgusts me to my core.

So they broke up. I was hoping that if they did, it would be Justin's fault since he has an amazing record going in relationships. But I feel that this happened (from my point of view, remember I know nothing about Justin's say or side in this) because Holly spent more than two days with me and realized that when I said that as long as she is with him our relationship will not be how it was, she saw it and that I meant it. In a way she felt like "Robyn really isn't talking to me too much... I guess this is how it will be if I am with Justin... is that what I really want?" So she felt that she needed to choose between us. I didn't EVER want to make her do that. I did, however, want her to realize that I am not going to be walked over and YES I am going to stand up for my heart and my feelings. I have a gut feeling that this is going to be MY fault and she is going to resent me for making her lose the love of her life. BUT I didn't!

I just don't know. Pray for this situation please (if you even made it this far and if you did, THANK YOU! I really appreciate you taking the time and lifting this up in prayer.) The more prayers= the more smiling faces down the road.

Blue Elephants will march my soul along in this time of despair and pain.