UGHHHHHHHH. This is going to be very depressing. I just hate those days when NOTHING makes you happy. (I know why). But I just hate that I can't do anything other than it to find my joy. It is like I am hopeless. In a pit of hopelessness. Hopelessly devoted, hopelessly romantic, hopelessly lost, hopelessly unhappy. I hate being tied to this lifestyle of repetition. My heart burns in anger with myself mostly. Why is it that I cannot be satisfied with nothing I have? I always want more. The pain is there. The desire is behind the pain. I cannot overcome this and move on without recieving the priceless gift of love and I cannot recieve the priceless gift of love without overcoming it. Until this is behind me nothing will work.
Tears that hit my pillowcase will not equal the amount of blood you shed for me.
The day continues and I lay in my bitterness, waiting for the day...
The day when I can wake up and want to live my life as it is.
The day when the season of winter brings the joy I once found and ALWAYS dream of.
I fear it in my heart.
I know it can only be right with and through you.
The first drop of the snowflake brings a magical miracle.
The stillness is what I long for with you.
Why can't it just be us in this world of pain?
The bliss in sharing the first moment with you.
Every fiber of my soul awaits the moment when it is full in you.
Can it be possible to not be full in you?
Who would dream of such pain?
The explaination of love has no proof in my heart.
Pull me up, fiercfully so I can see you
Make my heart raw and my spirit weak so I know this is where I need to rest
Give me the peace that I am searching for.
As you hold my hand and lead me on give me patience.
As the sun is shining on my face awaking my rotting heart,
answer my everfast run with your arms and embrace.
No one, no conversation seems to do it. He is having a bible for college and dreaming of winter. Fearing the pain of life without me. You deserve the love that does love. The friendship that does befriend and the soul that does respond to a calling God. Without it the quiet moments in life are loud and the moments of joy are full of deep sorrow. Refresh my heart and mind that I might refresh this.
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1 comment:
maybe the reason you seem to never be able to find what you are looking for, or why you are never satisfied is because the thing you long for the most is something you already have. the reason, maybe, you will never be satisfied is because you will not allow yourself to accept what has already been perfectly placed in your life. this may be nonsense or it may be true. you will figure it out.
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